Tag Archives: Travel Writing

Easy Living In NOLA

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I’m not in the habit of touring the good ol’ US of A. However, the truth is that New Orleans is one of those fabulously historical places to visit, where Scarlett O’Hara might step out of the trolley car behind you at any moment. If you stick around long enough – during Mardi Gras, she certainly will.

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The French quarter is the tourists haven. It is ablaze with kitschy knick-knacks you never knew you needed until you set eyes on them. Each new street is lined with kitchen supply stores, vintage shops and galleries, lots and lots of galleries stocked with classically regional, Southern Art.

The Stroll by Danny DeLancy

The Stroll by Danny DeLancy

Defined by its romanticism within landscapes, this genre tends to engender the realistic and the mystic in one. Southern art presents the artist’s cultivated and reverent vision of his/her/their home. Though too gaudy for my personal walls, (apparently there is such a thing) there is plenty of fun to be had in chatting up the vending artists as they hassle the passersby. You never know which artist will turn out to run a fortune telling business on the side and will read your palm for the price of being mentioned in your blog…..

Admittedly dubious of the beignets and cafe au laits from Cafe Du Monte, I shall concede that they are better than anticipated, considering the touristic hype surrounding them. Despite the interminable wait for service, I suggest that you swipe a table and take time to ruminate over your quarter pound of powdered sugar at your leisure. It can be a pleasant break from the balmy 95 ° F and 75% humidity in NOLA .

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While airboat tours do not guarantee Huck Finn sightings, they do offer a quick trip out of the city, past idealistic manor houses and out into the famed bayous. A bit more pricey than the regular swamp tour, you will pay for the core -vibrating experience of skimming across wave crests at fifty mile per hour if you take an airboat tour. I suggest that you pre-plan a bit more than I did. Short skirts and tank tops don’t leave much to your fellow passengers imaginations when dealing with strong winds. (It should also be noted that tours in the rain will leave you with raindrop bruises, so watch the weather report too…)

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Of the extensive bayou network you’ll enter, over 10,000 brackish canals long, not a single canal is naturally occurring. Dug-out in the 1900 – 1950s these beautiful backwaters were  initially created by logging companies when they were clear-cutting old growth bald cypress. Today algae blooms, grandfather’s bead (tree moss) and crocodiles live in a unique ecosystem which comprise 40% of U.S. wetlands. There is not a single old growth bald cypress in the state, though second and third growth trees can be found aplenty.

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As we skimmed along the canal surfaces I noted PVC pipes at each majorintersection. Natural gas pipelines are buried less than 4 feet below the water’s surface throughout LA’s bayou network. Unfortunately, the ramifications of a minor leak in one pipe in this complex ecosystem seemed less distressing to my fellow passengers than the vivaciously yellow banana spider, (not poisonous unless squeezed) which had found its way aboard and spent too much time exploring my shoulders and birds nest bun.

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Sam, our swamp guide was knowledgeable about crocodiles, bayou life and politics. He informed us that he loves kissing crocodiles after giving them swamp crack, (marshmallows) but he makes sure to give them all female names prior to kissing them. He encouraged us to name the crocodile as we wanted when we were given an opportunity for a kiss of our own. “I’m not trying to make a statement, but I’m not one to judge which way you like…” he claimed and honestly the “croc probably don’t care neither”.

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FYI- It takes six full size crocs to make one small purse for fashionistas.

Like most cities, NOLA has some grandiose Chelsea-inspired galleries on the south side of town for the wealthy collectors. Just west of that there are some additional public museums for everyone else. I managed to squeeze in the Ogden Museum (modern, local and contemporary art), the ConfederateMuseum (oldest Museum in LA, it’s been open since 1891) and the WWII Museum This was a fitting place for me to explore in August I felt. I paid homage to my grandfather who was active in the war and to the victims of the Nagasaki and Hiroshima bombings, which took place 69 years ago to the day of my museum visit.

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Gone With The Wind theme aside – There is another NOLA which the debaucherous tourists and men in dresses (Red Dress Run ) might fail to grasp or choose to overlook. This was a slave town historically. Prior to the Civil War, over 100,000 human transactions took place in pens lining the Baronne and Gravier streets (two main streets lined with hotels today). Of those families who were broken up and sold, nearly one-third of the sales were of children under 13.

Dawid and entrepreneur

Dawid and entrepreneur

Today the city’s population is still over 40% black, but if you stay in the French Quarter the entire time you would never know it. The epic partying by fraternity brothers and bachelorette parties distracts from the disturbing issue that the tourist money being poured into the city only reaches so far, it seems and that the few homeless people I did see in the tourist areas were not white. On an early morning walk my first day in the city I watched two inebriated homeless men, self-stated veterans, rounded up and relocated to another part of the city as a part of what I assume is a routine clearing of the streets….

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I am certainly guilty of brushing past people asking for money on the streets. I certainly ignored an “entrepreneur” who kindly offered to hook me up with my dreams for the night, for a small fee of course. I “White Girl Dance” shamelessly with my hands in the air and I stride with confidence when I travel. I am secure in my opinions and myself, having growing up in thesheltered south of the USA. Yet today, nine years after Hurricane Katrina devastated the city, studies show that only 30% of lower income families, the majority black, have returned to their homes as compared to 90% in more affluent, white areas. #checkyourprivilege

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The hurricane changed the city’s landscape and its perception of itself permanently. The city has been rebuilt in many places. The levees have been repaired and strengthened. This brilliant, voodoo prevalent city, which glorifies itself with iconoclastic images of true jazz and blues ripping apart the night certainly manages to ingratiate itself to tourists. Yet, as I departed for the airport in a shared shuttle, (Lyft, Uber and taxicabs are all a minimum of $40 for the trip) I found myself wondering what other great potential the city could have in its future, someday when Mammy and neutral zones* are no longer such participants in society.

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Venturing South: Bogota, Colombia

I love traveling in foreign airports, they are the umbilical cord to the world for me. I also appreciate the airport nostalgia  which washes over me whenever the security guard cops a feel post metal detector,  but does not require me to step aside for a clothing swipe or a full body scan…

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On the intercity flight between Medellin and Bogota I had found myself seated in the exit row. The flight attendant seemed dubious of my ability to effectively communicate emergency instructions in Spanish; I was doubtful too…Luckily no such situation arose because out of sheer kindness or laziness on the attendants part I was able to maintain my exit-row leg-room for the hour and a half flight.

Arrival into Bogota lead to me to question my overall travel competency. It’s the basic things like re-confirming the address of your airb&b, which really matter on a trip it turns out… Of course, when the address is written down incorrectly, sometimes there is nothing you can do to evade those uncomfortable travel situations- the ones where you find yourself standing on a park corner, attempting to look cool and non-conspicuous while simultaneously clutching all of your luggage to your person, waiting for your host to come retrieve you like a lost puppy….

Never one to be content sitting in for one single evening my obliging travel partner and I  went questing for food and Monserrate directly after our eventual arrival at our accommodations.

1383323_10151798300057561_814868480_nFood we found at a delectable restaurant called Crepes and Waffles. Pleased to see all vegetarian food for the first time on the trip I splurged on an actual dinner dish rather than continuing to subsist on my travel diet of deserts, caffeine  and street snacks. (Interesting Side note:  This chain, originating  in Bogota, only hires women who are head of households as employees.  My initial response to this fact was to approval; it’s about time someplace tailored jobs for women right?! However, the more I thought on it the more issues I have with the policy: What about other women who are not heads of houses?  Can they not work too? What happens when the children leave or the spouse dies and technically they are the only household member and thus not really a head of a household. Are they then fired? Also, why are discriminate against men? Isn’t there enough discrimination already?)

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Monserrate is  a looming mountain which presides over the Eastern side of Bogota. Located on a top peak is the Sanctuary of Monserrate a popular tourist and pilgram destination. The views of  the city from the mountaintop are expansive and the ride up the mountain on either a cable car or funicular are a “must-do” part of the tourist experience.  Having done my research before hand I knew that the mountain was open to tourists until midnight… What research did not tell me is that the church, the tourist booths and parts of the gardens would be closed after five o’clock. Therefore,  if you want to enjoy anything other than a lovely dulcet toned sunset and garden walk in partial darkness, visit the mountain prior to closing time…

544124_10151798300302561_1426947340_nLa Candelaria, the old city in downtown of Bogota is very compact. It’s winding streets are laid out in what ought to be a simple to understand alpha-numeric order. Yet somehow it is not. We traveled in circles, circumnavigating the actual destination at least three times before deciding that the out-of-date-tourist-map, which was missing Carreras 12A – 12H was less than helpful. In general I would also have fared better directionally were I not gawking upwards at the astoundingly violent, beautiful,  political murals and graffiti littering the city’s walls, while also attempting to side step the missing sewer-cover holes.

1385301_10151798310357561_1483133002_n-2  (Note: Across the city the iron sewer covers have been pulled off and the metal re-sold thereby exposing gaping holes in the sidewalk. While we were in Bogota this issue rose to the forefront of the publics attention due to the deaths of 2 children who, within the course of one week stepped into these holes and drowned in the trash and rainwater .)

1450956_10151798298932561_302978758_nFinally trying something new, we joined a bike tour of the city. Although I do not endorse bike tours, in general, this one in particular had a certain element of ecas the first thing we did was bike the wrong way on a one-way street, fighting our way uphill against traffic, the tour was a impressively comprehensive including: La Macerana, the old bull fighting ring, currently standing empty as the current governor has declared the sport illegal, the old town squares, where students congregate to eat, drink and protest politics, a coffee factory,  where the roasting and bagging portion of the coffee preparation is completed and the Cementario Central de Bogota, which  houses wealthy or well loved political figures as well as the famous Bavaria Beer Company founder, Leo Kopp, who is visited by Colombians and tourists alike, all waiting in line to whisper their desires for a new job or financial stability into his ear…

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Colombia as a country is progressing forward from drug cartels and zones of terror that people associate with it. Although I would not yet deem it prepared for busloads of tourists, (particularly as there is a distinct lack of tourist assistance available) it is a much safer place to visit today than it has ever been. If you want to travel, go try it out- eat areps y aguardiente and for goodness sake don’t bring any cholo tea back through customs with you. It contains cocaine (Cough cough, now we all know!)…

 

Road trip (Further North)

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When one is considering an epic* road trip there are a number of things you ought to contemplate. I do not mean logical things like weather, miles per day, nor even the consideration of how many tourist attractions you can actually afford to stop into…

I mean the really important things, for example:

Cruise control; generally considered an accessory, this invention really ought to be considered a necessity by any member of the public who does not wish to end up with a speeding ticket and a particularly high “pay-on-the-spot” speeding charge on their credit card in speed-troll states.

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Another thing to think on is the importance of the Atlas.

While driving, using Google Maps in the deep plains, or just North in general, or really anywhere outside of a heavily populated area will certainly result in AT LEAST one trip into the local livestock fields.

Now personally I have found that cows are especially sympathetic about one’s lack of navigational skills. They mosey, non-judgementaly up to your car,  putty their noses directly onto the windows and flap their ears at the sound of Sirri “recalculating” embarrassedly over and over again.

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At times like this it is a good idea to dig deep under the passenger seat to pull out that archaic paper atlas upon which all major highways and interstates are marked. (Yes children, that is what an atlas shows!) Although you may not be able to find the cow-path you are currently idling on, odds are better you will be able to find yourself back to civilization without Sirri’s help…

There are many other things you will want to keep in mind of course:

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In the North particularly there are two seasons, winter and roadwork.  Therefore please be sure to  stay aware of your surroundings  at all times. You never know when you will happen across a stop-light in the middle of no-where. Or a dead-end in the center of a square mile.

Finally, it is always best to be prepare yourself for the culture shock of travel while sitting in  the comfort of one’s own rental. If you are from a big city traveling North, I recommend listening in on a few hours of Bible-Study radio, you will probably learn something interesting through sheer osmosis.  Or perhaps you should just take a brief stop-off at one of many Shock-Wave Warehouses just off the interstate…. Say hi to all the nice truckers if you do!

Culture adjustment can best be related to the necessity of hydration. One cannot waltz into the land of Adult Juice Packs, pronounced “O”‘s and year round lefsa without some sort of preparation.  Acclimation requires constant attention: So for the first 150 miles please imagine that all of the rolled up bales in the fields are edible, megalithic frosted-wheats. Next I want you to really come to terms with the fact that Paul Bunyan is responsible for every single lake and pond in Minnesota and Wisconsin. He made them  tramping around, attempting to rein in Babe, his Blue Ox…

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*A road-trip is a road-trip and once completed it is by definition epic.  Be it in the car with your parents  sweaty palms locked between your thighs and the seat in prayer as you will yourself to avoid the birds & bees conversation Mom is trying to bring up; or maybe you  jam out to great tunes with your partner, a new song for each city each state, that ride from the East Coast to the West gets a little more fraught with history.

The only sort of road-trip which will never be considered epic is the one which only happens in your head…

Friendly road trip tips for the beginner:

– When driving alone, if you are in the middle of no-where and a cop puts on his/her lights behind you, it is within your rights to phone into the local police station and request to a delay in your pull over until you reach an area of less isolation.

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-Turning right on red is illegal in New York City, but not in New York State…So when people honk at you upstate, just turn right. It’s really okay.

-Wisconsin, Michigan and the Dakota’s are known as Speed Troll states.  If you find yourself more than 5-7 miles over the speed limit at any time, rest assured you will soon find yourself with a nice ticket too!